How to Live Free
Exploring the idea of how to live a life of freedom. Where do we start? How are we supposed to think? It all comes down to asking yourself one question.
Recently, a close friend of mine remarked that I’m one of the freest people he knows. It surprised me. No one’s ever said that about me so it took me off guard. This is a very smart person who also knows many other smart and successful people. He’s not wrong. I do feel free. So how do you become free? I’ll tell you. It’s simple but difficult. It all comes down to one question.
Life starts with death. Either coming close to death or thinking about death. Both for me. In May 2018 I jumped from a burning tractor on the farm. I haven’t thought about life the same. Immediately, I became aware of all the superficialness that distracts us from life. None of it matters. These days it’s hard to know what are facts and what aren’t but there is one fact that we can all agree on yet no one speaks of it: we’re all going to die. Every person that has ever walked on this planet or is walking on this planet will die. I think about death way more than the average person – way more. But I don’t view death as a morbid thing, it’s actually liberating. Life is a gift. How will you live it?
I think about when I’m on my deathbed. My last words will be, “That was awesome.” There are innumerable articles and books written by doctors and caregivers about patients in that same position. Over and over, the same regrets come up: I wish I didn’t work so hard, I wish I spent more time with my family, I wish I followed my dreams, I wish I had the courage to be myself. Time after time after time the same regrets occur. Understand them and work to not ever be in that position. Where do I start?
Yourself. I feel free now and I guess perceived as free because of the work I put in over the last two and a half years. I made a decision of who I wanted to be and the life I wanted to lead so I practiced and had patience everyday. Meditation everyday. Philosophy everyday. Action everyday. You know what sucks? Sitting on a chair for ten minutes and not thinking. That’s tough. You know what sucks? Being angry by a thought or action from someone and letting it go. Understanding I’m insignificant overall and giving my ego the Heisman. Never get high off a compliment – instead examining it. Letting go of the desire to be right – trading it for listening and pursuing my curiosity. I’m just an American man experiencing life in the 21st century. I’m grateful for what life has given so far and, one day, I will no longer have this gift. What will I do with it?
I’m spiritually and emotionally free. And it feels fabulous. It’s absolutely incredible. I’m not financially free yet. That’s what I’m working towards now and strive to attain in my life. However, I don’t think I could be sustainably financially free without the previous. I’ve learned that time is limited but money is not. Money is made up from our imagination. We can use our imagination to create more of it. Time, though, is very limited.
Everyone has different financial circumstances. This is true. People put a lot of stress and effort into pointing that out. Money is just one factor of living free though. It doesn’t equal freedom. Money is energy. And just because something is a certain way doesn’t mean it can’t be changed – that’s where our creativity comes into play. Does it ever feel like everything costs money and I never have enough? Here’s the thing, you don’t need all the stuff you have or want. You can live with very little. As someone who’s lived homeless and slept in parks and shelters, you know you can live on very little.
Living free comes down to one question. It’s a question that philosophers have pondered for thousands of years. Who am I? Find the answer to that question and you will live free. You will live with confidence. That’s what my last book, Primary Ponderings, is all about – my journey and process of discovering that. The celebration. The results are beautiful and you have so much love for yourself and the world.
Unfortunately, most people don’t ask themselves that. On top of that, society is filled with distractions and fear. So then they never reflect on their life. They don’t know who they are. They don’t know what they want. They don’t know what they’re good at – and if you don’t know what you’re good at, you won’t know how you can best help others. Helping the people and communities we love makes a huge impact on our feeling of self-worth and meaning.
Many Americans struggle with these things. They’re consumed by instant gratification and the short term. How ironic that most Americans aren’t free in the “Land of the Free.” I can tell you from experience that working towards freedom is a great investment. I get so much bang for my buck. Your cost of living drops dramatically. You know what you like and what you need so you only get those things. Crazy concept. Don’t consume what you don’t like. If you don’t take the time and make the effort to understand yourself and what you value, someone else will assign it for you: Media, Government, Corporations. Living free is a slow and painful process. Practicing sucks. But if you remain numb towards the difficult questions of life, you will never be truly fulfilled. Do not place your self-worth into external things.
Our time is limited. The standard of living in the twenty-first century is the highest ever in human history. At the same time, there are more distractions than any time in human history. You can live your life however you choose, but there are always consequences for our actions – and inaction. Remember, life starts with death.